Super Sammy

Many appologies for starting a blog and then never posting.  I’ve been keeping a journal, but had not had the time to set up our new blog.  Anyway, so here’s a picture of our amazing Bernese Mountain Dogs — Sammy is 4 years old and Macklin is 3 years old.  They are super cool and such good boys.  Here’s our story of ending up a tripaw! 

February 21st

 So we took Sammy for a vet visit today.  About 2 weeks ago, he was running in one of our crazy big snow banks in the yard and sunk a little too deep. The snow drifts in our yard are running anywhere from 1 to 4 feet so it’s not the first time it has happened. He let out a quick yelp and held up his front leg. He quickly shook it off and was off in running with Macklin within seconds.  I checked him out and no sign of any pain so just figured he tweaked it a bit. Two more times over the next two weeks, he let out tiny yelps and held up his leg, but again, walked it off as quickly as it happened.  No tenderness, no swelling, no pain.  We decided to have him checked out – particularly because I’m crazy vigilant about watching for arthritis – he’s young but given his large breed, I’ve always been cautious. 

 So his vet checked him out – nothing – no pain, no swelling, no temp, great mobility etc.  She said nothing seemed wrong and as we thought, likely early stages of arthritis.  We asked for an x-ray just to be safe and to confirm everything seemed ok – why not, while we’re here!  She checked the x-ray and then showed us – all looked clear. There was one very tiny spot that didn’t look like a clean line on the edge of the bone but she said it was likely nothing to worry about and quite possible, just a shadow on the x-ray.  We asked for it to be sent to a radiologist for a reading, but went on our way thinking we just really needed to keep an eye on him as he ages.

February 24th

You can imagine our shock to receive a call this evening that Sammy likely has osteosarcoma!  Our heads are spinning and we can’t wrap our heads around the information.  I completely process things differently than JB  – I need facts so I spend the better part of the evening doing research and arming myself with information. It’s the only night I really let myself cry and while I lie on the floor with Sammy and Macklin, they take turns licking the tears off my face.

February 25th

I spend today trying to figure everything out. I call Sammy’s vet so I can get more information – as would be expected, we feel like a bomb was dropped on us last night and have a million more questions that we didn’t think to ask. She’s not in the office, but I leave a message to call me back. We had been given a reference to a hospital to go for a biopsy and chest x-ray so we called and made an appointment for the following day.  Our heads are still spinning and we’re still waiting to hear from our vet, but at least we have the start of a plan to figure things out.

February 26th

We arrive at the hospital and have an an appointment with a surgeon.  We have no idea as we think we’re just going for additional tests but feel relieved we can finally talk to someone and get more information.  She does a thorough examination and seems a little surprised at the possibility he may have a cancer – he’s young, strong and has great mobility in his joints – he seems to have no issues whatsoever.  It gives us the tiniest bit of hope, although we’ve already braced ourselves for the worst. Our vet’s office had not sent over his x-rays so we decided to have a new set taken instead of hunting them down.  Again, Sammy was a trooper and sits through his “photos” with no sedation.  The pictures were read by a radiologist and then we sat with our doctor – confirmed, osteosarcoma.  Best they can tell, he’s not at risk for fracture yet, but it’s clear as day on the photos – the dreaded “moth eaten” bone picture.  We decided not to put him through a biopsy as the picture tells it all.  We run through all our options and immediately schedule surgery for amputation.  I’ve done all the research and we had ourselves prepared for all the decisions we were afraid we may need to make. It’s been a long 6 hours at the hospital – but we are comfortable – we love our surgeon, we love the staff and we love the facility.  We think amputation is the right decision for Sammy and go home sad, but feeling good we have a plan!  Bless our friends – Kate has dropped off dinner of some amazingly good comfort food to feed our anxieties.  That’s why she is my best friend!

March 8th

We’ve spent the last 10 days readying ourselves for Sammy’s surgery.  The house is ready, gear has been purchased and we’ve had plenty to dog time with the boys.  Our friends have been amazing – food for us, treats and toys for the boys – everyone is so supportive and thoughtful.  Corinne and Jack come over to bring treats and to wish Sammy well  – it was a great break from the stress.

 

 

 

 

 

 

We’ve decided to send Macklin to JB’s parents for the week.  He’s never been alone at the house before – when we brought him home at 10 weeks old, he came home to Sammy and they’ve been side-kicks ever since.  We figured he was better off with my in-laws spoiling him 24/7 – we will be working this week so we can take time off when Sammy gets home.  So this morning, JB and I head off – him with Macklin to his parents and me with Sammy to the hospital.  I drop him off fine (ok, a few tears in the parking lot before I pulled out) – and start my day of waiting.  Our surgeon calls at about 2:00pm to let me know she’s taking him in to start the surgery – she shares that she had another x-ray run because it’s still is amazing that he presents with no symptoms – the tumor has even grown slightly over the last 10 days.  As anxious as I am, I love that she took the extra step – she’s the right one to be taking care of our guy. We get a call at 6:00pm that he’s all done, the surgery went well and he’s resting comfortably.

March 9th

Our surgeon leaves me a vm message first thing – when she arrived at the hospital he was standing and wagging his tail.  At the time she called, he had gone out for his fist walk to pee – she just wanted to share before she went into surgery but would call back when she got out!  Boy, did that put my mind at ease – already up and walking – he’s such a rock star!  When we talk later in the morning, he’s doing well although still very foggy from all the meds. 

We went to visit Sammy that evening. True to form, Sammy already has all the technicians loving him.  They couldn’t stop laughing at his new “hop” – one of the most exaggerated hops ever according to them – leave it to him to not dissappoint – he throws his entire body into moving forward and looks like he’s a pogo stick!  And he has one speed – fast.  They had reserved us an exam room and spread comforters all over the floor for our visit.  JB and I made ourselves comfortable and someone brought Sammy in to us. He immediately curled up on the floor with us and snoozed.  After some time, the wonderful technicians want to take us to the rehab room to show us how amazing he is at getting around.  We were stunned – and so proud.  Sammy is now exhausted and still quite out of it from all the meds, so we decided to let him get his rest! We went home happy and relieved but very, very emotionally drained.

March 10th

We can barely keep ourselves focused this morning we’re so excited to pick up Sammy tonight.  I am a mix of scared out of my mind, anxious to start our 3-legged journey and relieved to get my family all back in one place.  When we see him, he is 10x more alert than last night – he almost knocks himself over with his tail wagging! We had left him a t-shirt to wear and he looks super cute in his black dog shirt!  We get him home and in the house with no problems.  The hospital gave us a harness for under his belly which works really well.  He takes a quick loop around the yard before he comes inside and we feel really good about it!  Bless our friends – Vanessa has made us dinner so we can spend our time focusing on Sammy and not worry about ourselves – we are forever grateful to her (and she makes a kick-ass lasagna)! We’ve decided to sleep on an air mattress on the first floor until Sammy is strong enough to get upstairs.  JB needs to work tomorrow so I decide to stay downstairs alone tonight and let him get a good night sleep.  Sammy cried a bit and was somewhat restless but all in all, it was manageable.

March 11th

What a horrible day – I’m feeling overwhelmed!  So before he heads off, JB helps me get Sammy outside.  He pees and we get him back inside and I’m feeling confident I’m ok on my own.  I’m super excited JB will be bringing Macklin home tonight and feeling things may be back to normal – ok, so it’s a new normal, but will be the four of us together!

I know Sammy is feeling better because his stubborn streak came out.  He refused to eat – ok fair, am sure he still doesn’t feel good, but he will not even get up for me including refusing to go outside to pee!  I know he can get up ok because when the UPS guy came to the door and asked if he could say hello to Sam – before I could even say yes, Sammy was greeting him at the door – tail wagging and happy.  This kicked off a war of the wills for the day. He would stand up, pee, take 2 steps, look at the pee and then stare at me as if to tell me to clean it up, and then lie back down. Ugh!  He flat out refused to go out for me – he’s 100+ pounds and isn’t moving if he doesn’t want to!  Grrr…I want to be a supermom but I’m failing….I could cry.  So I spend the entire day, changing his t-shirts every time he pees and then shampooing the carpet.  As soon as JB comes home, Sammy walks right outside and pees outside for him.  Well, at least that is over with….grrrr.  Macklin is so excited to be home but is a bit overwhelmed by all the smells – between Sammy smelling like the hospital and all the carpets that have been cleaned, he’s not really sure what to smell first! As exhausted as I am, I’m just happy to all be together.

March 12^th – 14^th

Sammy is getting stronger every day.  He’s still waking at night, but it’s getting better every day.  Kate brought over Corrinne and Jack for a visit and he greated them on the front porch – boy did that make the kids feel more at ease and was awesome to see Sammy’s sweet side still in tact – always worrying about the kids first.  He’s still not eating and hasn’t pooped, but otherwise he’s doing great.  Here’s a video of his first solo walk in the yard! 

We’ve also had great fun changing his t-shirts.  Here are a few pitcures of him looking like a rock star. 

 

 

March 15^th

 He pooped! 

 March 17^th

 Happy St. Patrick’s Day.  We put a green t-shirt on Sammy and head to our early morning appointment at the hospital to have his staples removed. 

I’m relieved to not worry about that anymore.  Sammy is overjoyed to see all the staff at the hospital and shows off his lightening speed down the hallways -they love his festive t-shirt.  Macklin was his usual good brother self and hung out for moral support.  He also stayed true to form and kept his butt against the wall at all times – he for some reason thinks anyone in a vets office or hospital wants to take his temperature so whenever he walks in the door, he immediately glues his butt to a wall.  It’s pretty funny…he’s not in the least bit of distress about it, he’s perfectly happy and calm…he just doesn’t want to take any chances!  After having Sammy’s staples removed we head to our first oncologist visit.  Our doctor is fantasitc.  After discussing all our options, we decide to move forward with the chemo.  Being the research fanatic that I am, JB and I had already discussed and barring any new news, already knew that was the right choice for Sammy.  He had his first round of carboplatin and we headed home. 

 We stopped for roastbeef sandwiches on the way home.  Sammy had really his first meal yesterday so we thought he needed something to fill his belly.  It had been a very busy morning out and about so he was chill for the remainder of the day.  Starting in the early evening he seemed to get pretty lethargic and by about 8:00pm the big guy was just feeling lousy.  He was so lethargic, he could barely pick his head up and was super nausious.  He peed 2x while laying down and didn’t even move!  After cleaning him all up, I did manage to get him outside at about 10:00pm.  He seemed to really like the fresh (but chilly) air and it seemed to be the only thing that stopped the dry heaving.  And so there we sat until 3:30am….Sammy on the grass, me on a towel with a blanket wrapped around me and Macklin on high alert looking for creatures of the night!

 March 18^th

Sammy is a tiny bit better today, but not a lot.  He’s still crazy lethargic and just has sad eyes.  All he wants is to lie in the grass and soak in the fresh air.  He’s very clingy too and just wants us to sit with him.  We’re still sleeping on the first floor on an air mattress and he scoots right up close so he can feel us next to him.  Poor guy!  Putting any kind of food in front of him sends him into convulsions of dry heaving.  I’ve made a bunch of frozen yougurt cups (melted peanut butter and vanilla yougurt mixed together and frozen in individual cups) and it’s the only thing he’ll touch.  He seems to really like scraping his toungue on the cold and it definitely gives him some relief. 

 March 19^th

I can at least see a tiny bit of the old Sam in his eyes today!  He definiately does not feel well, but he’s being a trooper.  We’re really second guessing our decision to treat with chemo.  Is he really one of the limited dogs that do not tolerate the chemo or was he just still recovering and so this was too much too soon?  Time will tell.

 The marvelous Kate dropped of a new t-shirt for Sammy that says “You’re looking at a Survivor”.  We love it!

 March 28^th

So today is our appointment with our new vet!  Our amazing surgeon gave us a recommendation and we have our first appointment.  Our prior vet has still not called us back after dropping the news that he has cancer!  Unbelievable!  I guess things happen for a reason because we love our new doctor.  JB and I agreed that we would really need to like someone new because this is the person we would be partnering with as we manage Sammy for the time with have left.  We’re happy!  Sammy has developed a little bit of an infection which he cleaned up.  Toward the bottom of the incision he had a little fold and it was a tiny bit icky – it was a surface infection vs. anything internal.  Sammy was a trooper and was very still while it was all cleaned, he had all his blood taken and we went on our way with some antibiotics.  The vet told us we needed to figure out some way to get him to eat – he said it doesn’t matter what it is, just try to figure out how to get food in him.  Game on – no one needs to give me a challenge twice! 

 March 29^th – 31^st

Ok, so the challenge was a bit more daunting than I had expected.  You name it, I’ve tried it at this point.  He’s just being stubborn…he’ll eat treats, but not food.  He sometimes even turns up his nose at treats when he forgets that he actually likes it! 

Jackpot….porkchops covered in peanutbutter…ha! 

We took his t-shirt off for good and he started eating.  Maybe a cooincidence….OR….he hated those darn t-shirts….he’s so vain, but he does have that beautiful Berner coat that shouldn’t be covered up!

 April 1^st

 Sammy is doing amazingly well.  He’s so confident and getting along fine.  He’s still not playing with Macklin, but Macklin can be a little rough!  He’s back eating again and is like a new dog now with a little nourishment in him.  We’re going to sleep upstairs tonight.  JB has installed new treads on the stairs and Sam is definitely up for the trek to the second floor.  Of course, he makes it up easily and immediately retreats to his spot on the marble floor in the bathroom. 

April 8^th

 It’s a chemo weekend!  And bless Vanessa for sending over more food so we can focus 100% on Sammy and not worry about us.  We meet with our oncologist and make the decision to run another round of carboplatin at the same levels.  He’s doing so amazingly well, he is like our old Sammy again.  We discuss the first treatment and all decide that it can’t be used as a baseline for how he’s going to tolerate his infusions.  It was just too close to his surgery and hadn’t recovered.  Now he’s gaining strength and energy and we think he’ll tolerate it differently.  We’re super nervous as we really don’t want to put him through a repeat of the last time, but we think it’s the right decision.  Sammy is happy to see everyone, as is Macklin although yes, he has his butt glued to the wall (see previous explanation).  He has his treatment and because he’s so good, we stop at the beach for roastbeef sandwiches on the way home.  And we anxiously watch….

 April 9^th

Sammy is doing fantastic.  He had a great night.  I guess it’s all relative, he really doesn’t feel well but it’s not even close to the last time so we’re feeling really good about it.  He has the dry heaves but not uncontrolable.  He just doesn’t feel good but he’s powering through it.  The peanut butter yogurt cups do the trick again and at least give him a little bit of something in his belly.  All he wants to do is lie with his head on my lap which is just fine with me!

 April 13^th

Sammy has completely powered through this round of chemo.  He’s still a tiny bit stubborn about eating, but no complaints from me.  He 100x better.  He’s got really good energy and I know his appetite will pick up in the next day or 2. 

 April 16^th

Josie came over to play with Sammy today.  She brought him all sorts of toys and treats.  She was a bit curious about how he could possibly walk with only 3 legs, but smiled from ear to ear when he actually greeted her at the door and came down the stairs!  He loved all his treats and even shared with Macklin.  It was a great visit.

 April 17^th

We had a great trip to the park today.  Their ears perked up with I said “park” and we started walking.  Well, when we got to the close park, Sammy kept walking and wanted to go to the park on the hill.  It’s a much prettier park overlooking the ocean, but I really didn’t think Sammy was up for it. I was so pleasantly surprised.  He had a great romp and even chased another dog….and then, all in good fun, tried to mount the other dog.  I must say, while I do not condone bad behavior, the look on Sam’s face – the “mom, am I doing this right” was priceless.  Thank goodness for a good natured pup on the receiving end!  It was great to see Sam in his old haunt. 

 April 23^rd

 Sammy had a swimming lesson today!  Ha!  We took Sam and Macklin for an indoor “fun” swim.  It’s a heated indoor pool with a fantastic swim instructor named Heather.  The boys love her.  We wanted to get Sam back in the water to get him comfortable with swimming.  He spends tons of time in the ocean during the summer and we were not sure whether or not he would be hesitant now being a tripaw.  He was brilliant.  Sammy swam like a champ.  Macklin on the other hand acted like we put him in a vat of acid!  I’ve never seen so much flailing in my life! Poor Heather was covered with welts.  The pool room has about a 30 foot window to the lobby and people end up standing and watching the dogs swim.  Well, my two boys tend to attract a fair amount of attention so at one point, there were about 25 people watching.  Macklin was much more interested in running up and down the window showing off.  Well, Sammy really wanted to get back in the pool so we got Macklin right out and let Sammy use the remainder of our appointment.

 April 24^th

 Happy Easter!  We decided to spend Easter with JB’s family.  They had not seen Sam yet and we figured it was time.  Of course, as soon as we said, “R-I-D-E”, Sam and Macklin went crazy and ran to the truck.  The pet loader stairs have been perfect for us….just perfect and so easy to get Sammy in and out of the back of the truck.  The dogs generally start to recognize where we are about a mile from my Nanna and Grandpa’s house – we put the windows down and they are at full attention looking for the first sighting of their grandparents.  By the time we pull into the driveway, they are in a full frenzy.  Well, we open the back door of the truck and Macklin jumps out – fine.  Sammy starts crying as we’re not moving fast enough to get him out so he can run in the house.  Well, as JB is pulling the stairs out of the back of the truck so Sammy can get out, Sammy just jumps out of the truck!  It was like slow motion as I’m yelling, “Noooooooo”.  Phew, he was perfectly fine!  We had a great visit.  We’re always so spoiled when we go visit….it’s wonderful.  They are the greatest dog grandparents ever and the boys know it! 

 April 29^th

Chemo weekend!  Sam had his 3^rd round of chemo today.  We went in really positive – he’s just getting so much stronger we were confident he would power through again.  His appointment went really well.  We stopped at the beach on the way home to let the boys run and play.  JB and I continue to be amazed by Sam.  He was so happy and started digging in the sand.  We never thought we would see that again.  It took him a few tries, but he got the hang of it and was so proud of himself.  We wrapped up at the beach and stopped for roastbeef sandwiches.  Everyone in line was laughing as Sam’s fixation on the counter turning out sandwich after sandwich…dog heaven.  He loves our little ritual of a good treat before he doesn’t feel well. 

 May 2^nd

 Not a bad weekend.  Sammy was sick, but did really well.  He definitely powered through this one and even ate a little over the weekend.  Chicken breasts really do the trick and he loves the peanut butter and yogurt cups that I make.  Next chemo appointment will include all his scans/x-rays.  I’m already a tiny bit anxious….ugh. 

May 11^th

Sammy is awesome.  While I would never wish this journey on anyone, it’s rare that you get to see a dog’s true spirit.  I LOVE SAMMY’S SPIRIT! 

 May 14^th

Sam has become lightening fast – well, when he feels like it – and, let’s not forget, he’s a Berner!  We unfortunately need to go to RI for a wake.  Sam and Macklin wait in the truck while we ran into the funeral home – boy were they crazy when they saw their grandparents come out.  We need to let them out in the parking lot briefly so they can try to settle down.  My in-laws house is their favorite place – they love to chase squirels.  Dad over does it with snacks and Sammy vomited a bit – ahhhh, to be spoiled.  We stayed overnight and Sammy mastered the new hardwood stairs beautifully.  Such a champ! When we came home, we had a special visit from Olivia and Vanessa – such a special treat.

 May 18^th

We’re a bit nervous about Friday’s chemo appointment.  JB and I are convinced he may have lung mets – hard to tell if we’re imagining something wrong or if we’re just bracing ourselves. 

 May 20^th

Chemo weekend!  Appointment was fantastic.  The x-rays came back clear and the chemo is doing exactly what Dr. Cronin had hoped for!  Whew!  I’m feeling like I’m on cloud nine.  This is the first appointment that I’ve been to solo so I couldn’t wait to text JB to tell him the good news.  We’ve upped for 2 more rounds – hoping that 6 will be just right for him.  Sammy was really good but was a bit of a mamma’s boy – he wouldn’t go in back for his treatment without me so I had to pretend to walk him back.  Macklin was funny as usual – he was laser focused on the door wating for he brother to return.  He becomes so focused, sometimes I wonder if he has super powers or something – does he think if he concentrates enough the door will open? 

I was so happy about the appointment I decided to treat the boys for a walk in town on the way home.  I found a fantastic parking spot, fed the meter and got the boys out of the truck and started walking.  Except, about ½ block away, Sammy plopped himself on the ground and refused to walk!  After a bit, he stood up and pulled me back to the truck and plopped himself next to the truck.  Walking was just not in the picture today!

May 24^th

Once again, my hero powered through the chemo.  He was probablly more lethargic this round, but didn’t seem as nauseous as usual.  He hopped in the kitchen each time I was feedking Macklin and really seemed interested in food.  By the second bite, he would look at me as if to say, “this really isn’t working for me mamma”, but at least he was trying!  Such a good boy. 

May 28^th

The nice weather is finally here!  The boys are a bit hot today, but we’re thrilled to be outside.  We took the boys in town and spent the afternoon at some favorite haunts.  G&Ts by the water, it was excellent.  We also had a fantastic dinner and the boys were well behaved while we ate.  They each even had a hamburger and fries for dinner….and a little taste of mamma’s key lime pie for desert.  Yum.  The boys tend to attact a bit of attention and they were so tollerant.  Every time they got settled and comfortable, people would run up and ask if they could pet them and they would get up and love the attention and then settle back down again.  I could not even begin to guess how many different people took pictures of them.  They are a couple of lookers!

 May 30^th

We had a great cookout at Neal and Christina’s tonight.  Neal is an outstanding chef and it was the perfect night for a cookout.  They are going to watch Sammy and Macklin for a few days next month while we’re away at a family wedding so we thought we would have a little test run.  Nando and Josie are great and Sammy has definitely taken a little shining to Josie.  I love when he keeps an eye on the littlest ones of the house.  He barked a bit more than I would like but being in the city, there are lots of noises around the back deck etc.  I think he was just announcing his presence.  Sammy manouvered the stairs well although he was pretty pooped when we got home.  They will do fine while we’re gone. 

 June 1^st

Wow, did we have a bad thunderstorm tonight.  In addition to the severity, it was crazy long too.  While I love to watch a good storm, it’s spectacular to watch over the water from our porch, Sammy decided last summer that he no longer has the same appreciation as we do.  So, while we used to watch storms from the porch, and have often watched fireworks from my in-laws boat, we no longer partake in these activities.  Instead, we spend our time trying to calm Sammy from the noises.  It can become pretty chaotic because as Sam become riled up and barks while running from window to window to warn us of the dangers, Macklin thinks he is playing and starts chasing, barking and biting at Sam’s legs!  Poor guy was pretty tuckered out by the end of the storm – fighting the evil storm takes its toll on you when you only have 3 legs!    Looks like no fireworks again for us this year!

 June 4^th

Down to RI for the weekend.  We pulled up and Uncle Billy is out front working on the walk way….not for long because the boys wanted undivided attention and plopped themselves down right in the middle of where he was working.  Ha….that’s one way to call it a day so we all open a beer!  Next, we head to the beach and let them swim for a bit.  It is Sammy’s first ocean swim since his amputation and he knows exactly where he is when we get there.  He did great.  It  took him a little while to get comfortable.  The rocks were a bit slippery and JB had to wade into the water for a bit to entice him….once he got the hang of it though he was very happy.  He is very handsome in his new swim coat.  Of course he has a good roll in the grass after his swim and even chased a bunny!  He was a little sore by tonight and had difficulty on the stairs going to bed, but he looked real happy!