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Tough Appointment

Tough appointment today.  Sammy had his 5 month visit with his oncologist this afternoon.  While we were a bit apprehensive this week, we were feeling pretty good.  His scans 6 weeks ago were all clear and he had really been a trooper with chemo.  He’s been completely amazing all week – he’s been so full of energy we couldn’t figure out what was going on until we realized it was his first week without chemo in his system in 4 months…he’s like the energizer bunny!  Anyway, so it was pretty devastating to find out he had developed mets.  He has about a dozen spots – about 1/2 of which are significant in size.  I felt like I got punched in the stomach.  We looked at his x-rays next to the ones from 6 weeks ago and it was crazy. The fact that there are so many and that they have all just developed so quickly is just not good – the cancer is just super aggressive.  I spent a very long time with our oncologist to try to make sense of everything and really think through what made sense to do.  We decided on metronomic so he’s now on Cytoxan, Piroxicam, Doxycycline.  In addition, we have him on K-9 Immunity and fish oil.  We would love for something to work against this darn cancer but for now we just want to slow the spread and keep him comfortable.  I did an ok job keeping it together until I got to the truck….JB had sent me a text and was anxious to hear about the appointment….let’s just say I didn’t do a great job maintaining my composure when I called him.  Sigh.  I pulled it together and managed the drive home.  I’ve now had some time to let the shock wear off and am feeling more grounded.  My girlfriend reminded me that when this journey started in March, JB and I said if we were able to give Sammy a good and happy summer we would be grateful.  Well, we’ve definitely done that and so we really are fortunate.  The remainder of the summer will be wonderful….we’ll live day to day and cherish each trot, bark, drool and smile.  We’ll love each other and create lasting memories.  We had a real chill afternoon on the porch. My tears are at bay for the moment and my energy will be in a better place tomorrow so they don’t pick up on my worry.  But for now, we’ll just relax on the porch and enjoy our quiet time.  I just love my boys.  

10 Responses so far »

  1. tatespeeps said,

    July 30, 2011 @ 3:11 am     Reply

    I’m so sorry to hear this bad news. But I’m glad to hear Sammy is feeling so great. So here’s to a completely amazing summer!

    • samsamsmom said,

      July 30, 2011 @ 3:21 am     Reply

      Thanks so much. I see lots more key lime pie in his near future! JB and I had a good laugh tonight that Macklin will of course be eating what Sam eats all summer and we’ll all be running like crazy come fall to lose weight!

  2. etgayle said,

    July 30, 2011 @ 1:44 pm     Reply

    damn!!! we’re sorry to hear the mets have entered the picture. you are so right to just keep enjoying each and every moment and to focus on quality of life. sending our best ET juju to you guys, we know this is tough stuff.

    charon & gayle

  3. sooz said,

    July 30, 2011 @ 3:31 pm     Reply

    {{{hugs}}}

    • samsamsmom said,

      July 30, 2011 @ 10:15 pm     Reply

      Thanks so much everyone. It means a lot to us. We’re in a much better place today. He’s been doing so amazingly well it just sucker punched us a bit. We lounged on the porch all day and it was great. We’re just going to keep doing what we’re doing and hope for the best and regardless of the outcome, he’ll know how much we love him! Xo to all,

  4. admin said,

    July 31, 2011 @ 8:05 pm     Reply

    Many of us here can totally relate to what you’re feeling, but mets are by no means a death sentence. Be sure to check out the lung metastasis treatment options from the Downloads blog, and review our experiences with Jerry’s lung mets. Above all, keep loving every moment together with Super Sammy!

    • samsamsmom said,

      August 1, 2011 @ 3:33 pm     Reply

      Thanks so much. Yes, we’re by no means going about this news as a death sentence. That being said, we’re also trying to be realistic. The sheer volume of mets that have appeared in 6 weeks after 6 rounds of carboplatin is enough to make us pause. The dozen or so that I saw were actually only from 1 viewpoint on his x-ray – I couldn’t look at the other 2. Sammy has started metronomic this weekend and so far so good. We’ll also continue him on fish oil, K9 Immunity etc. We spent a long time with our oncologist on Friday and really weighed out options and heavily considered Palladia. We ultimately decided against it for the Cytoxan, Piroxicam, Doxycycline combo. Who knows…we’re just doing what we can and what we think is right for Sammy. We had a great weekend…lots of sunshine and sprinklers!

  5. Indiana's mom said,

    August 10, 2011 @ 9:10 pm     Reply

    Oh Super Sammy ~ I send you prayers of time and comfort. Indy was cancer free for one year (our miracle dog). At his 1 year check-up they did a routine ex-ray and the cancer had returned. My whole world came crashing down again…They told us 2 – 4 weeks and we were blessed to have had him another 5 months. I cherished every day, every breath and all of his love always… I told him I loved him literally thousands of times! Embrace Sammy’s love….make many memories and take lots & lots of pictures. Much love & many hugs are being sent your way…
    Indiana’s mom ~ Carol~~ xoxo

    • samsamsmom said,

      August 17, 2011 @ 3:48 pm     Reply

      Thanks Carol. I’ve read many of your stories and Indiana was truly a miracle dog. The love you had for each other was absolutely special. Your kind words are inspirational. We’re having so much fun and keeping the scary thoughts at bay. Thank you!

  6. Eileen said,

    November 18, 2011 @ 6:59 pm     Reply

    How is Sammy? I am in the same boat, and would like to know how he is doing with the MT protocol? Please email me at setdesigns0@gmail.com
    Thank you.

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